Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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