On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
