Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
