Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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