There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
