i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.