why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
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You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
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I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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