You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.