better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
