3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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