If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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