Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
