No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
