we're making bets on your personal life
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
