I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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