Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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