found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
