i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
