Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
