if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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