taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
