and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
