what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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