He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
