Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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