final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
no you cant smoke seaweed
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
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