I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
