if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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