think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
