If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
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