white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
