I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
