Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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