Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
