This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
