I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize