I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
