Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
