It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
NoShamevember. You game?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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