ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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