you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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