first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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