meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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