wakey wakey hands off snakey
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize