Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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