Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
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creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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