And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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