So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
