Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize