the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
