she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize