How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize