We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
