My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
