I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
