I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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