It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just made out with a guy for $7.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
