wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
