I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
